The Husband Factory

Dear Guest:

Hello and welcome to the Husband Factory! 
We encourage you to take a shopping cart
and recommend that you start
by having a look around our upstairs showroom. 
Food and drinks can be found
in the adjoining rooftop restaurant.

Before continuing downstairs to our warehouse,
please check our inventory
using the touch-screen monitor
to ensure you successfully locate
the husband of your choice. 
When you are ready,
follow the signs to the Roller Coaster,
which will transport you into the warehouse. 
Please note that each chair accommodates
one person and one shopping cart. 

Once inside our warehouse,
use the index markers hanging from the ceiling
to match your touch-screen coordinates
with the husband of your dreams. 
We understand that some of you
will change your minds upon encountering
your sought-after merchandise
and apologize ahead of time
for the confusing nature
of our cross-referencing system. 
As Shakespeare said, “man is a giddy thing”
and therefore difficult to organize
into user-friendly categories.

Keep in mind
that we have an open return policy
and are happy to process exchanges. 
You can also bring in your husband
for scheduled maintenance;
and be advised that our patented
Love-Tank refueling station
is located outside the factory,
across the parking lot. 

We hope you enjoy
your Husband Factory experience. 
We are located all over the world.